Mediocrity

Warning: pessimistic post follows. . .

When asked what would be the one thing they would not want people to define them as, people say various things -- some say boring, others say ordinary, yet others say stupid or ugly. After much thought, I decided, relatively recently, that my undesirable quality of choice is mediocrity.

I've never been the smartest in my peer group, but not the dumbest either. I haven't been the best-looking, but not the worst either. And I haven't been the life of a party, but I haven't been the wallflower either. Under these circumstances, the tendency to slip into mediocrity has been ever-present, ready to drop at any minute.

And I've tried to battle it tooth and nail. Particularly career-wise, I've tried to stave off mediocrity by praying as hard as I could, working just as hard, and by taking chances that held the promise pf results that would remove me as far as possibile from any chance of slipping into mediocrity.

Now, moving away from mediocrity doesn't mean making millions or becoming famous or even being the absolute best in what you do -- at least not by my definition. Rather, it is living a life that makes a significant difference in the lives of others. And translating that into my chosen career, it means being a reporter who seeks the truth in areas I'm most passionate about, and exposing the way the less fortunate parts of the world live to the more privileged ones.

But lately, the question of whether it is possible to escape the mediocrity that has been hanging over you your whole life has been weighing on my mind. And with the latest blow that has succeeded in almost crushing me, my faith and my quest, I am almost convinced that one's own efforts are not enough to escape mediocrity. You can work harder than you've ever worked. You can force yourself out of your element, your comfort zone, into strange and confusing worlds. And you can endure all kinds of heartache in your quest.

But, despite your best efforts, I am almost convinced that the way your life turns out is beyond your control. At the end of the day, what matters is not always how hard you work (although it does make a difference when combined with other favorable factors) the career path you've chosen, the qualities you already possess -- a brilliant mind, for example -- and, ultimately, the colour of your passport.